Your Church is NOT an AirBnB

The Discipline of Sticking Around

One of our church members often joked about leaving our church. One day, as a joke, I said, “Oh what? Is our church just an AirBnB to you?” Though I said it as a light-hearted joke, the truth of it felt heavy.

Sadly, this is how many people view church, more like an AirBnB rather than a home.

At an AirBnB, you stay until you get what you want out of it and leave when you are done. However, a home has deep roots.

The Church Covenant

Two years ago, while reading about the covenant between Jonathan and David, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to make a covenant with my head pastor and his wife to serve at GOND Church until “death do us part.”

I often felt a little crazy and definitely alone in this decision because I have never seen another person make a covenant like this with their church. Of course, I’ve seen people make marital covenants many times, but a covenant to a church? Never once.

A Letter to the Asian American Church

At

Heidi Tai

’s recommendation, I’ve been reading a book called, “A Letter to the Asian American Church.” If I had to sum up my experience reading this book so far in one sentence, it’d be, ‘I’ve never felt so seen in my life reading a book before.’

My personal favorite chapter so far is by the editor of the book, Steve S. Chang, titled “Exegete Your People: Understanding the Heartbeat of Asian American Congregations.” In this chapter, he discusses a rootless faith (it’s a bit long but totally worth reading the entire thing):

A typical second-generation Asian American story goes as follows. She grows up in her parents' immigrant church and enjoys youth group. If her faith survives the adolescence stage, she says goodbye to the immigrant church upon entering college and explores faith through a parachurch ministry on campus or a non-immigrant church near campus. If her faith survives college, she moves to the city for work and finds a church that provides an environment and community for those on a similar journey. She pursues the American dream in her career, marriage, family, and a home in the suburbs with a good school district. If her faith survives the pursuit of the American dream, she looks for a church her kids will love. If her faith survives all these life stages, she has now cycled through four churches. If she still has faith, her faith may lack the deep rootedness that comes from being tethered to a faith tradition. Without that long-term faith community, the child of the immigrant generation can adopt a Christianity that is rootless, untethered, and unguided.

And here’s just one more quote from the chapter:

If you are leading an Asian American congregation, plan to shepherd your people for decades and not simply for a season. Your church needs you to model what it means to be rooted in a faith community. One of the most important but under appreciated things you can do is stick around.

Though the author didn’t explicitly use the word “covenant,” I felt like he put into words what my heart has felt for the longest time when he said, “One of the most important but underappreciated things you can do is stick around.”

Here’s why I am writing this post: There is an unquestioned assumption that wherever your job is, that is where you go. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t move because of a job opportunity. I’m saying that there needs to be a much higher level of doubt and prayerful contemplation when choosing to move (and thereby, leave your church) for a job.

It doesn’t just have to be a job. It could be anything else, like school, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or other opportunities.

When someone does leave a church for a job, no one bats an eye. It feels as if everyone is thinking, “Of course you should move. Your job is there.”

And if you do decide to leave a church, it should not be done nonchalantly. There has to be a degree of sadness and remorse as uprooting any part of a tree will inevitably damage it.

Bearing Fruit Takes Years

But why commit to one church? Because seeing the fruit of your labor takes years. I know that I’ve been quoting this book a lot in this post and let me just share one more from the chapter, “Steadfast: Persevering Through Difficult Seasons of Ministry” by Joey Chen:

When you first arrive at your church, you should commit to staying at least five years because in the first five years you’re building trust and credibility. If you don’t fail or get fired, do your best stop stay no matter how difficult the ministry.

Though this book was written specifically for Asian American church leaders, I believe it can also be applied to members of any church. It takes time to build trust and decades to build intergenerational discipleship.

My personal experience has been that only after four years of consistently loving and seeing my youth kids every Friday and Sunday did some of them start to trust me enough to be vulnerable with some of their struggles. Four years. And I believe it’ll take another decade for me to see the fruit of that labor.

Is it hard to stick around? Absolutely. That’s why so many of us are rootless. And to be honest, there’s been countless times that I wanted to stop being the English Ministry pastor and leave the church. And the only thing that anchored me for seasons was that covenant that I made to the church.

If there is one thing that I can share with the next generation is, cultivate the art of sticking around and dig your roots deep in your church.

Conclusion

God’s heart that He has given me is to see a unified, intergenerational Korean church. To see such a church realized, we need all the different generations, especially the younger ones, to understand that “One of the most important but under appreciated things you can do is stick around.” And if you do decide to leave a church, don’t leave it the way that you would leave an AirBnb.

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